I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
