It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
