Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
