Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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