haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize