Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
