i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
