Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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