he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
