how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
