I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
