So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
