My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
should my penis look like a turkey
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
