I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
