I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
