The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize