I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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