Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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