Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
