You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize