Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
