4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
