I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
