careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize