i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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