Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
