just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
