i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
