i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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