K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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