you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
