I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Alive.
So much puke
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
