Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
