No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
