I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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