i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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