okay pat passed out under dana's car
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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