so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There r osticjed everywhere
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
