The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my liver is dry heaving
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
