If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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