"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
