VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
