feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
