I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
