is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't deserve a penis
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
