Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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