whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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