Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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