ugly people sure do ruin things
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize