do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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