Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't turn off my feet"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
