Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
