Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
