Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
