sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
