p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
