operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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