beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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