So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My dick has a subreddit
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
