it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
