4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Welp...herpes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
