i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
