So drunk, too bad you don't want this
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
