how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
