The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
