just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so let's talk penis.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize