Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
