You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
