Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
