i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
