Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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