i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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